Patron saint of chainsmokers and angry criers.
I wish Danny Devito was my dad. 
Sleepiest bitch on earth
etc
Jan 15 '19

medusabraids:

me at an alt j concert: PLAY PUT IT IN MY BUTT!

Jan 15 '19

paulsrockinpagoda:

presidentobarna:

leaf-jelly:

131-di:

illogicalhumanoid:

brickiestsurgeon:

131-di:

the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument

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talk dirty to me

Have ya’ll seen the double contrabass flute before???

reblogging my own post because what in the fuck

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i give you the contrabass tuba. Why is it real. I dont know.

Know what’s even better?

HYPERBASS FLUTE

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my counter:

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piccolo trombone 

Jan 15 '19
humansofnewyork:
“ “We met while he was renovating a house for me and my ex-husband. My ex-husband wasn’t interested in helping. He kept saying: ‘Go with Howard to pick out the windows.’ And: ‘Go with Howard to pick out the doors.’ Well, Howard and I...

humansofnewyork:

“We met while he was renovating a house for me and my ex-husband. My ex-husband wasn’t interested in helping. He kept saying: ‘Go with Howard to pick out the windows.’ And: ‘Go with Howard to pick out the doors.’ Well, Howard and I were getting along so well, my ex-husband eventually said: ‘Just go with Howard.’"

Jan 15 '19
pomrania:
“ narramin:
“what a fucking power move
”
[Image description: photo of some text (source not given) about Caesar’s last words. Transcription follows.]
Suetonius adds that, according to some reports, he said in Greek: “Kai su, teknon” (which...

pomrania:

narramin:

what a fucking power move

[Image description: photo of some text (source not given) about Caesar’s last words. Transcription follows.]

Suetonius adds that, according to some reports, he said in Greek: “Kai su, teknon” (which Shakespeare turned into the Latin “Et tu Brute?”). It literally means “You too, child,” but what Caesar may have intended by the words isn’t clear. Tempest cites “an important article” by James Russell (1980) “that has often been overlooked”. Russell points out that the words kai su often appear on curse tablets, and suggests that Caesar’s putative last words were not “the emotional parting declaration of a betrayed man to one he had treated like a son” but more along the lines of “See you in hell, punk.”

[End description.]

Jan 15 '19

odinsnotwearingmakeup:

bigmammallama5:

we’re gonna have to start eatin hard cheese and cured salted meats again to try to dodge badly inspected food like just go ahead and give me a set of leather armor and send me on a quest if you’re so set on returning us to darker times

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Jan 15 '19
glyph-of-wolves:
“ glyph-of-wolves:
“ therealkingzo:
“When the tea is HOT LAVA
”
This is a real problem, however while we don’t have this museum, we do have The National Museum of American Indian (yeah I hate the name too) that actually describes a...

glyph-of-wolves:

glyph-of-wolves:

therealkingzo:

When the tea is HOT LAVA

This is a real problem, however while we don’t have this museum, we do have The National Museum of American Indian (yeah I hate the name too) that actually describes a lot of the bullshit Native Americans have had to go through. There is a room completely dedicated to every treaty that the US government made with Native Americans and then back out on (honestly it’s the saltiest museum I’ve ever been in) They have stuff from the trail of tears to modern day issues. I would encourage everyone, especially my white friends who don’t know much about Native American culture or history, to go check it out.

Update: I was wrong, we do have this museum! I encourage everyone to check out the American Indian Genocide Museum in Dallas Texas. They participate in a lot of activism and education. 

(Source: z-o-e-x-o)

Jan 15 '19

batmanisagatewaydrug:

I know we’re having a good time laughing it up at Bezos possibly losing half of his money in his divorce but please let’s stop and take a moment to realize that losing 67 billion dollars will have absolutely no impact on his quality of life, which makes for a rudimentary but functional litmus test for determining whether or not someone has too much fucking money

Jan 15 '19
nataliekerrillustration:
“a calm painting from over Christmas
”

nataliekerrillustration:

a calm painting from over Christmas

Jan 15 '19

cursedcatimages:

image

repost at your own risk

Jan 15 '19
mounteerieliveinbloomington:
“ digg:
“A divorcing couple divides their beanie baby investment under the supervision of a judge. [Reuters, 1999]
”
could be us
”

mounteerieliveinbloomington:

digg:

A divorcing couple divides their beanie baby investment under the supervision of a judge. [Reuters, 1999]

could be us

Jan 15 '19

fourletterepithet:

colonelfind-it:

colonelfind-it:

a dnd party of made up entirely of orc bards

an orchestra

NO

Jan 15 '19

danny-noriega:

GAY-ish | “The LGBTQ community faces many challenges, loving yourself and each other should not be one of them.” #gayish

Jan 15 '19

feenyxblue:

excellent-monster-girl-ideas:

bpdmemes:

Alexa release the serotonin

“Releasing neurotoxin.”

“ALEXA, NO-”

Portal(2007)

Jan 15 '19

crunchwrapofnotredame:

“samurai wakes up in the present day”

this was the best vine ever and it’s not even close

Jan 15 '19

tonyzaret:

It is one of the sad ironies of life that while annoyances such as insects, allergens and inclement weather are real, the charming characters known as ‘The Minions’ are not. But what if Minions WERE real? That is the premise of my new #instagramskit, ‘If The Minions Was Real!’